Tightroping...

Really want to see this lady on Thursday. We'll see if I do!

New beginnings

I'm going to pray for new beginnings
Seasons full of new life
My old ways are now ending
The Lord's opening my eyes
To see the truth through all things
In times of joy and suffering
I will hold tightly onto hope
Instead of the world's offerings
I will take upon me Christ's yoke
And confess these sins of mine
Although this road will not be easy
In my weaknesses I am refined
God please help me on this journey
Speak to me and I will trust
You have determined the ending
That your grace is more than enough

Why....?

Do people abuse the power that they have? Husbands, teachers, men, older siblings, governors, pastors, senators, professors, etc???

Shouldn't they feel privileged and honored to have that type of authority? Shouldn't they treat their role with respect and the people they serve with respect? They should always always lead as an example, serve their people, and always have the best interest of their people in mind--not their own selfish ones. In the end if they don't serve the interests of their people they only end up hurting themselves anyway!!! But that's a whole nother topic.

It's a beautiful thing to submit and obey someone in authority and that loves and respects you in return. Someone that understands you are made in the beautiful image of God. But it hurts me so much and tears me apart to see/witness/or even experience the injustice of people in power abusing their privilege of power, lording their authority over others. It's disgusting and my soul mourns for all that experiences injustice. I need to pray that God softens my heart towards those people inflicting pain and injustice. May I see the log in my own eye.

____

My prayer:

Dear God-

Please wake us up Lord! Stop letting us hurt one another. We are broken and hurt. There are scales on our eyes and we cannot see. We sin against one another and tear each other down. We are not dealing with our pain and struggles within ourselves, and we are prideful people; we do not offer our brokenness to you, and we do not confess these sins to you. We are impatient with ourselves and one another--and we seek fulfillment in our idols. Please awaken us and bring forth a hunger that will never be quenched. Please. In the name of Jesus I pray,

Amen.

Jesus wrecked my life

I wrote this three years ago. It amazes me to read some of the things I wrote back then, honestly. It's easy to think that I'm some great writer. But the only reason I was ever able to write was because of Jesus. He gave the words to me.

Jesus Wrecked My Life
Sunday, Oct 28, 2007

It's true. I can't be comfortable with the things that used to be comfortable. The Holy Spirit tells me to change my attitude toward certain people. Most of all, I'm really not that great, nor am I more self righteous than the next person. Jesus wrecked my life. He created conflicts within my family. He made me change the standards. He told me that I look like the rest of America. It's time that we all need to change. It's time we all really let God wreck our lives, and to continue to wreck it. It sure aint easy folks!!! But dang, for some reason... while he is wrecking our lives, he is also making us more than conquerors.

Mere Images
Monday, Aug 6, 2007

For what we see now are only mere images
The larger canvas, the painting,
The mural is but only so far...
Lord... bring and allow in our thoughts
The desire for these feet to glide in front of one another
Over and over again
Until You are all we know
Filling and compelling our blood with your own
To the time your fingertips have stopped
Completing the finishing touches
Brushing over your canvas
What we cannot know or see
We know we love you
Til that seventh day rest Lord...
These will only be mere images
Oil upon oil, still only drying...

My current book list:

These are going to be read by me. 10 minutes a day equals 10 books are year, according to the host from Urbana. Here they are and why I have chosen them:

1. Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. I hate going with the status quo but I feel as if I have put this man's books on hold long enough. It's not even the status quo anymore--people have read at least two or three of his books by now. If I just read one, it wont really count anyway. Lol.

But no, honestly... I usually dont like reading books from white male authors because thats pretty much the prototype I have read from these past 4 years at NWC and it drives me crazy. Not only does it make me personally feel sad, but I know there is some stuff out there that I can read that pertains more to me, RIGHT? Every author comes from their cultural context/pov. White people are cool. I totally enjoy John Stott all the time baby. But I need more influence from the world and not just white males.

NONETHELESS... I can't deny the fact that I am an American, born in the west, and not to mention one of the millions out of this post-modern generation/pool. This author is really good at that (I read the first couple of pages about 2 years ago and knew right away). I am all of the above three. He's not Hmong nor was he raised in North Minneapolis but EH, I can sift out what the differences/perspectives are--not like I havent done that or practiced doing that for the past four years. We are both Christians after all... we much agree on SOMETHING lol....

(Yeah none of that was short--- sorry.)

2. Good news about injustice Gary A. Haugen
Okay, he's another white guy but I think he's more radical so he doesnt count. Also worked in the civil rights division of the U.S. Department of Defense (just read that on the back cover lol). Sounds good to me!!! Lol.

But honestly, I've had this book on my shelf for almost a year. I need to get back in touch with what is going on in the world. I've been spoiling myself like crazy and that equals the desensitizing of my soul and my concerns for others and essentially myself. We are supposed to be the hands and feet of Yexus. This book talks about the truth of injustice... and that "the good news is that God is agaisnt it." HOLLLERRRRRRRRRR.

Oh and look: forward by JOHN STOTT and Donald Miller gives a review/is quoted on the back.... nice. Maybe me and Gary are like Miller and post modern children as well. With our center on Jesus of course ;D....

3. I ain't coming back - Dolphus Weary
"The 1960s, the rural south, poverty, racism... somehow Dolphus managed to escape but Christ called him back."

I need to read this. I have been delaying it for the past 3-4 years. And plus this balances our the whole reading from a different perspective thing. I'm obviously not black and I have never dealt with the issues at the level Dolphus dealt with. Not only that, but man it is so hard to come by some BIBLICAL and SOUND stuff about the issues of racism and oppression. There are those who are extreme and will just speak some language that is not compassionate. Then there are those that make me wonder what kind of God they serve because I dont know if its the one from the Bible...

And anyway!!! Dolphus autographed it for me. How can I not??? :D This is what he wrote me... sigh...:

Will you continue to love God in all you do?

Good question Dolphus... well. These books are hopefully going to encourage, educate, and ultimately mold me to be a person that is more like God, loves God, and continue to love Him.

Some of my motivations

Going to try to keep this short. Here are some things that have been motivating me lately. Thank you God for your wonderful grace to have these things in my life to remind me of who I am...always in You.

1. You Are For Me - Kari Jobe


Read this blog and you'll understand: Strength in our weaknesses.

2. Give Me Words to Speak album - Aaron Shust

Plain and simple: this album grounds me.

More info: This album always brings me into worship of the Father. Aaron Shust is so plain with his lyrics yet they go deep by showing the true awe and love for God. I'm a person that is big on worship music lyrics. Sometimes I get disgusted with how selfish some worship songs are (just a personal thing--usually I just need songs to work on me for some time lol). But honestly his songs talk about the self because of GOD and who GOD is. His lyrics are also soooo humble. Thank you Jesus for this music. Here is an example:

I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me this I read
And in my heart I find a need
Of Him to be my Ssavior
That He would leave His place on High
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior...

and...

Everybody praise the Lord
Every nation applaud His name
For great is His love toward us
The faithfulness of the Lord endures
The faithfulness of the Lord endures forever
We stand to praise you Lord

and finally... lol trust me these lyrics are great...

King of all the universe
We love you and we come to you now
Asking for your healing touch
We need you in this very hour
Would you help us comprehend
What it means to worship you
Because we're blinded by our circumstance
Heal our eyes today
May we know your love
Feel it course through our veins
Encircling our hearts
And embracing our souls
We need your love and grace to remain
To rearrange our hearts
And change the way we praise

3. Airplanes - B.o.B. featuring Hayley Williams and Eminem

Yeap, I admit it: I like it. Yes there are lyrics that consist of words, money/richness/fame being the sum of all things, etc. Which are obviously bogus. But honestly, what motivates me with this song is that BoB and Eminem never gave up despite all the odds against them. They just kept fighting, no excuses. Hearing these lyrics I can say yeah, they're egotistical rappers talking about how great they are now--but honestly I choose to see it as a positive thing and to tell myself: "Danielle, stop making excuses. Be who you are and use the gifts God gave you. Stop procrastinating and be who God wants you to be: me."

Another thing about this vid. It gives great advice: suffering is the key to success (the word success in my eyes is pretty diff from BoB and M&M tho lol). You can only do anything/be anything you want to only if you work your butt off and work your heart like crazy.

4. My parents

Sometimes I think they are my worst critics. But really, their criticisms push me to know what I really want. I've finally learned that if there is something that I truly want, I need to work my butt off and prove it to myself that I want it so much to the point where my parent's criticisms are wrong. Thanks for pushing me mom and dad (even though it sounds like youre yelling at me). Here it goes.

A call for help

I've been wanting to put this up since forever, but hesitated to because I've been blogging a little more often than usual. What can I say, when the creative juices/thoughts are flowing, I gotta utilize them right? (More about that later).



About a month and a half ago, the country of Pakistan was flooded by monsoon rains. Today nearly 1/5 of the country is flooded (that's 30% of Minnesota in square miles...imagine Minneapolis and Saint Paul+ covered in water). The rains are still going on and southern Pakistan is taking it hard. Right now 20 million Pakistanis are at risk for diseases (malaria, other water diseases, etc) and 3 million of them are young children. 8 million people are displaced, without homes. Those 8 million are those that are in most direct need. Please help with what you can. You have the opportunity to help now by texting SWAT to 50555.

The need is beyond what we can imagine, honestly. 20 million people is the size of Beijing--its entire population. I went to Beijing last fall and let me tell you the city is HIGH in its population density and there are people EVERYWHERE. I can't imagine that amount of people suffering because their homes and livelihoods has been covered and washed away by water.

So please help and do what you can. Even $5 goes a long way. We marvel and love when our own friends think of us and buy us small things like a candy bar or coffee. That stuff makes our day. Think about the difference the thought and act of what $5 can do. To know that you are not abandoned and that the world is thinking about you in this time of need. Think about the money you spend and consider giving.

Here are the links to other sites to give:

UNHCR: https://www.kintera.org/site/c.lfIQKSOwFqG/b.5019079/k.2D59/Donate_Now/apps/ka/sd/donorcustom.asp?msource=G001

UNICEF USA: https://secure.unicefusa.org/site/Donation2?df_id=8320&8320.donation=form1

Thanks guys! Love you all... whoever reads this, lol.

-Danielle

Song: You Do the Same For Me by Dave Barnes. 2010. No copyright infringement intended.

Strength in our weaknesses

Many of us have our own weaknesses. We despair, we have broken families, we are insecure. We may struggle with lust, with impatience, anger, etc. I know I have several weaknesses (fear, perfectionism, compulsive habits) and sometimes it really brings me down. In the midst of my weaknesses sometimes I tend to avoid close friends and become isolated. And then I stray from God. It can get pretty bad.

In our weaknesses, I tend to cross off all other options and start to think that I am the only option to "saving" myself. I won't lay down my pride. It's like I begin to put up a fight, the fight of my life sometimes. But the real problem is that I won't even admit to who/what I'm fighting, and not to mention that it sort of feels like I'm doing it with a blind fold on. As anyone may assume, the fight eventually becomes very draining because there is no end when you don't even know what you're really doing. I eventually doubt and question who I am and wonder: Why am I so weak? Why can't I do this? ...and the circle repeats.

Although things can turn pretty ugly in my own mind, these past couple of days God has been faithful and has reminded me about who He is. Although my faith seems very weak, and although in my weaknesses I seem to be hanging on by the thread, it humbles me when I begin to realize He is my only option of Hope. These past two days He faithfully reminded my of these things:

1. This world's standard or worth is measured by things that are not eternal. But by things that will pass away: wealth, physical beauty, knowledge, etc. Without the right thinking, in my own weaknesses, I tend to degrade myself and ridicule myself, thinking that I am awful, a worthless human being. But when I am reminded about how He created me and that He made me good, I realize that He loves me for who I am. That He measures my worth differently. When He made His creation, He said that it was very good. I am and always will be His creation. Although I have weaknesses, He will still and forever love me. Essentially, He reminded me that I am a part of the bigger image that reflects who He is. My self worth is measured by standards that are eternal. He is good, and because He created me and because I also was made in His image, I am good. I am not a worthless human being according to the standards of this world.

2. Finally the part that humbles me most is: He reminded me that He will never forsake me in my weaknesses. He is a good God, not a God that will abandon us and leave us to "figure it out" on our own (why do you think the Father sent us the Spirit?). He is near, He is "God with us." I am never alone. He is so faithful; He knows us more than we know ourselves, and in our weaknesses He sends us help and does not abandon us. We do not have to draw on our own strength, but we can depend on Him and His amazing strength to provide us with power/strength to endure anything. As He provides us with strength in our weaknesses, He refines us to be stronger. I need to trust Him in my weaknesses because He has my best interest in mind and He will therefore deliver me through. Essentially, because He is good, He is for me, and He will never abandon me in my weaknesses. Instead, He will deliver, strengthen, and refine me.

Here are some verses that the Lord gave me this week (which I'm sure you all know) and that I still need to meditate on:

"If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is" (2 Tim 2:13).

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline" (2 Tim 1:7).

"'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Cor 12:9-10).

"Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing" (John 15:4-5).

"All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age" (Matt 28:18-20).

Here are also some amazing lyrics by Kari Jobe that the Holy Spirit has used to remind me of His amazing goodness. These lyrics remind me that in spite of my weaknesses and sin, God remains who He is. He is a good God that will never abandon me. He is faithful and I will persevere. I don't have to be afraid or try to be perfect. And I can have control over my thoughts and my actions. Thank you Jesus!

You Are For Me
So faithful
So constant
So loving and so true
So powerful in all you do
You fill me
You see me
You know my every move
You love for me to sing to you

I know that you are for me
I know that you are for me
I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness
I know that you have come down
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who you are

So patient
So gracious
So merciful and true
So wonderful in all you do
You fill me
You see me
You know my every move
You love for me to sing to you

You Are Good
Your kindness leads me to repentance
Your goodness draws me to my knees
Your mercy calls me to be like you
Your favor is my delight

You are good, you are good, you are good
And your mercy is forever
You are good, you are good, you are good
And your mercy is forever
You are good