Your true self

It's sooo crazy how fast time flies by and how much a person can change. All while this is happening (the changing part), it's so easy to lose yourself. It's so easy to leave yourself somewhere--tell her that you'll be right back. And the person comes back is completely different when she returns. And the one that stayed put has no idea who you are. The one that stayed put is not sure if she can trust to be with you, the one that left, again.

Cray.

I miss myself so much sometimes, haha! Or should I say: I miss the things that I would be able to do when it was just myself, me, and I? :) Being married is crazy because you really have to put another person before yourself, or put your marriage before yourself. However... Whenever I take time to do things that my normal self loves (sitting alone at coffee shops, listening to inspiring music, journaling/blogging, anything related to art, fashion/fashion blogs, etc), I can feel myself just drawing back to that person I left. Looking around the corners and alleys, and finding where I left myself.

It's in these moments when I find myself and know that my creator delights in that person. And it's all about self forgiveness and reuniting with yourself. It's a truly beautiful moment. There's a lot of catching up (inventory of who you are) and understanding the lessons learned. Moments of joy and mourning. Looking back at the old seasons, seeing people you have lost and gained, and new memories that have been created.

Self forgiveness... it's such a great moment to be in. How can you work with others if you do not offer your own self grace? How can you work with others if you cannot work with yourself?

Sometimes we all put a lot of pressure on ourselves. We are taking in all this information and influence form all that is around us. In moments of reflection, of finding your true self again -- it is so important to not judge yourself. To let go and simply allow yourself to be. And yes, to allow yourself to find your original self. And to not judge yourself when you find yourself. Accept what has happened, and accept that it was meant for the best. Let it be beautiful. Others will always judge you and have something to say about yourself. But what I find the most beautiful is when you finally come to a place of understanding and knowing that all that matters is the stuff that makes you, you. Not what everything around you that is trying to tell you what/who you should be. Not the moments you strayed. All that matters is the organic stuff after all the bullshit is stripped away. And that is exactly who you are. Who you are meant to be.

Don't get me wrong, I love being married. My hubby is not perfect, but he is pretty damn close to perfection. He is my best friend. And I'm sure we both drive each other crazy haha. I am addicted to him and feel like I never get enough of him also, haha. But it's really easy to lose yourself. Inventory, I am reminded, is always important to do on your own. And I'm sure my own hubby needs to do the same.

Make time for yourself. Make time for all that you delight in also. Especially if you're married. :)