1. Finally tell you about Asia before I can't recall it because I did not purposefully write about it.
2. Write thank you letters to all my cool supporters
3. Write the news letters about my trip to the supporters
4. Possibly send these out to my supporters on Sunday and this following week
5. Plan the slideshow with Ruth Moua
6. Plan my presentation for the big meetings on Sundays
7. Plan my Bible Studies for the month of February
8. Strategically plan my ambitious goals from the Urbana post
9. Do homework. :P
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Plans ahead.
I want to accomplish so many things within this next semester and next year. I feel as if school is actually motivating me to do it, even if I don't want to be going to school. But it's nice to have "something" to do. I fear that if I wasn't going to school or didn't work or anything, I would just waste life away at home, doing nothing. At least when you're doing something, it makes you think about what you would really like to be doing.
After B Study today, I was encouraged to start more individual-small group B Studies with some girls in my youth group and with some of my own friends. I want to start book clubs and everything with Christians that are yearning for more. Etc etc. With knowledge does come responsibility, and I want to really get into action with all the things I'm learning/the things I now know.
Reading all these stories inspire me to life as I once saw it before when I was an innocent freshman in college: I can do anything if I truly believe in myself. Of course the Lord is the foundation of that. But anyway, I realized that I don't think like that anymore. Fears, pain, rejection, doubts and many other things cloud up my mind, discouraging many of us from taking risks and going after our dreams. I SO want to chase after my dreams. But questions eat me up and I throw it and put it back in my head, locked up in a file drawer some where.
But lately, I've jsut been so inspired to do so many things, even if I mess up. I want to spill out all the things I want to do but honestly I don't want to reveal them yet for several reasons. (I have no idea who reads these blogs :P) But anyway, the books I've been reading have been the true inspiration. They really call for action. I would suggest that you read them yourselves.
Current book I'm reading is called Everyday Justice: The Global Impact of Our Daily Choices by Julie Clawson. It gives a very general background about many things that we use/do everyday--garbage, food, coffee, clothes, gas, etc. It also gives us the scoop on the means of how these things land in our hands...and the means isn't always a pretty picture. I suggest you guys read it, and trust me, if you open your heart and eyes, you would definitely be inspired to act and create some change.
Here's to me opening my ears and trusting in the H.S. to simply guide me on this journey.
After B Study today, I was encouraged to start more individual-small group B Studies with some girls in my youth group and with some of my own friends. I want to start book clubs and everything with Christians that are yearning for more. Etc etc. With knowledge does come responsibility, and I want to really get into action with all the things I'm learning/the things I now know.
Reading all these stories inspire me to life as I once saw it before when I was an innocent freshman in college: I can do anything if I truly believe in myself. Of course the Lord is the foundation of that. But anyway, I realized that I don't think like that anymore. Fears, pain, rejection, doubts and many other things cloud up my mind, discouraging many of us from taking risks and going after our dreams. I SO want to chase after my dreams. But questions eat me up and I throw it and put it back in my head, locked up in a file drawer some where.
But lately, I've jsut been so inspired to do so many things, even if I mess up. I want to spill out all the things I want to do but honestly I don't want to reveal them yet for several reasons. (I have no idea who reads these blogs :P) But anyway, the books I've been reading have been the true inspiration. They really call for action. I would suggest that you read them yourselves.
Current book I'm reading is called Everyday Justice: The Global Impact of Our Daily Choices by Julie Clawson. It gives a very general background about many things that we use/do everyday--garbage, food, coffee, clothes, gas, etc. It also gives us the scoop on the means of how these things land in our hands...and the means isn't always a pretty picture. I suggest you guys read it, and trust me, if you open your heart and eyes, you would definitely be inspired to act and create some change.Here's to me opening my ears and trusting in the H.S. to simply guide me on this journey.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Urbana '09
I can't really say much because it is nearing 3 am and my body is exhausted. But I wanted to talk about Urbana.
This Urbana has definitely challenged me a lot more than the first time I went in 2006. The message was not any better, nor did it influence me "deeper." But it's just that as a freshman (in 2006) I just soaked in all the learning. I didn't put very much application into my life, only knowledge. And it was good knowledge too, don't get me wrong. However, this time, in 2009, Allah has really challenged me to do something called: application--actions.
I always tell people that Urbana is not your "typical" conference--the spiritual revival that is very intimate between your soul and the Lord, a more "self-focused-and-renewal" type of conference. No, this revival (includes those things but) is MUCH MORE--it PUSHES you to think and worship out of your own comfort zones. It makes you think about the world (the conference pretty much shoves as much as it can about what's going on in the world within 5 days), and to GO OUT into the world, the world that Allah loves so much that he gave his one and only Son for it (John 3:16). This conference is so big that one can feel very small. Usually, at typical C-conferences, you have camp counselors running up to you, begging to pray for you and tell you about how much J.C. loves you. However, at this conference, you honestly need to seek out what you are looking for (and yes, they do have those "counselors" there too. :) You just have to find them.) What you can find is so vast, and some of those things includes but are not limited to: m-workers that are willing to pay for your lunch and have a conversation with you, SEVERAL m-workers and other exhibitors from various agencies and/or places in the world, students from all over north america and the world, different schools/seminaries, prayer and worships rooms that include artistic worship to ethnic prayer rooms, prayer counselors, exploration of downtown st. louis, one of my heroes: John M. Perkins, Shane Claiborne, some AMAZING speakers, worship in different languages, creative arts performances, and so so much more................
As you can tell, there's so much that it can be a bit overwhelming. But honestly, up until this point, this overwhelm-ness seems to be a blessing instead of a curse. A lot of times in our lives, we freak out because we are overwhelmed with SO MUCH stuff. School. Family. Job. Money. Loneliness. Etc. Etc. !!! This list goes on and I can pul my head out... lol. BUT throw Urbana and the world on top of that, AND two months in different countries---I was going a widdo cwazy. But now that I think about it... I see that all this is a blessing. I am thankful that the H.S. is challenging me in this way because what was this journey on earth supposed to be???? Convenient? Simplistic? Easy? A breeze? SIGH, inconveniently: no.
I'm assuming that the call to balance a life of loving a personal Lord, doing justice, living Holy, and making disciples of all nations aint really supposed to be easy. No wonder He tells us to seek the Kingdom first... but here we all are (none of you of course as J.P. would say :P) FREAKING out about why we aren't happy, why we have so many worries, why my life doesn't look like that pretty girl in the latest hit movie (Bella Swan I suppose, falling in love with a random vampire.... of course, vamps don't exist--and if we truly wanted to be like her, the closest we could get and the start of a great learning experience would be to date outside our own ethnicities---but that's your call to do the Lord's will with that area, lol), or why I am so darn lonely in this world.... etc etc.
But when I hear his sweet and humble Spirit telling me to "come...and...see" (John 1:39) I can't help but let go of what this world is telling me to believe. I can't help but drink from this living water, and fall in love with the J.C. I first met in 2004. The loving Savior that came and dwelled among us, in this world. A Savior that still dwells among us today. A Savior that is alive and not dead, a God that can hear us and longs to be reconciled and reunited with us. By being renewed and revived like this convicts me to obey the Lord and to follow Him with all my heart and to give Him my life... to change and be holy for him... I of course have to start little by little.... but slowly, I forget to hold onto living in my lustful thoughts, in my desires of feeling loved by others, in my yearnings for material things.... and instead, my heart is praying for these desires to change, my eyes are turning away from looking at things that destroy my soul, and my ears are starting to hear that what I listened to or thought before were lies that I believed....
God is at work in me... and that is because I am beginning to apply what I learned from Urbana: application.... and what is this application? It is obedience. And what is this obedience? Choosing to obey him in the little things. Choosing to share who he is to others. Choosing to live a holy life. And most of all...choosing to let Him be my strength and path and counselor all the way through.
At this conference, I was challenged to truly put what I saw/learned into practice... (btw that's what I learned from my internship too, ironically), but I am going to have to engage in my "Samaria"--the place that I probably do not want to walk through, but I am going to have to anyway. I'm going to start a book club this semester. I'm going to also start some book studies with my friends as well. I'm going to invest in the lives of people that are not non-C. I'm going to visit my cousins and my aunt that just lost their father/husband. I'm going to take care of my grandma. I'm going to stay involved with my church. I'm going to possibly find a job. I'm going to possibly start another book club after the first book is finished. I'm going to help my dad at his office more. I'm going to be home more often to be with my younger brother. I'm going to cook more for my parents. I'm going to read a few more books about living justly. But most of all, I'm going to invest in my relationship with Allah. Because if I don't, all of this is going to go down and mean absolutely nothing......... at all.
You may wonder: how in the world am I going to do this???? WHO KNOWS. But I am going to trust in God. And you know what? I am going to get A's this semester. I don't care who says I won't!!! I'm going to shoot for them. Why??? Because the Lord and I deserve them. That's all I got to say.
I don't want to be a content Christian. I want to be a busy one. I want to be a worker of the harvest. I don't want to stand on the side and roast in the sun as the harvest continues to grow.... I count all these overwhelming things I learned and all these overwhelming applications that I am going to do a BLESSING. It's not an easy road. But by the Lord's grace, and Lord willing in general, I will be able to do these things in HIS strength. I hope that fruit may come from this.
Pray for me my brothers and sisters!!! And if you did not learn anything about what I learned at Urbana, take a look at one of the speakers that I enjoyed and was most challeneged by. Alec Hill, president of Intervarsity. It's worth listening to. To my brothers and sisters in J.C.: I love you and I hope that the H.S. is pushing you to fulfill your calling. He LOVES you and will give you strength to endure it to the end!!! To my nonbelieving friends, I can only hope that you see something different in me and that you will believe that this is a reflection of God's love for YOU. To my friends and/or to people that randomly landed on this page--people that are hurting, unsure, of whether to follow or continue to follow J.C., do not give up his whisper and calling and longing to be with you, to forgive you, and to guide you in this life. He loves you, and he is near you. He dwelled among us, he met us where we are at, and today is the day that He wants to meet you and be the Savior of your life. I love you and hope that you will pray that the H.S. will show you and let you "see" who J.C. is all about. Don't be afraid. Have faith. He will take care of all your needs.
p.s. I did unpack from Asia, finally. :) But my room is a pigsty. No joke. I want to give away some of my clothes. Any suggestions? If I sell it away, I would like to give it to my church or one of the places I saw overseas. Tata and BE BLESSED!
This Urbana has definitely challenged me a lot more than the first time I went in 2006. The message was not any better, nor did it influence me "deeper." But it's just that as a freshman (in 2006) I just soaked in all the learning. I didn't put very much application into my life, only knowledge. And it was good knowledge too, don't get me wrong. However, this time, in 2009, Allah has really challenged me to do something called: application--actions.
I always tell people that Urbana is not your "typical" conference--the spiritual revival that is very intimate between your soul and the Lord, a more "self-focused-and-renewal" type of conference. No, this revival (includes those things but) is MUCH MORE--it PUSHES you to think and worship out of your own comfort zones. It makes you think about the world (the conference pretty much shoves as much as it can about what's going on in the world within 5 days), and to GO OUT into the world, the world that Allah loves so much that he gave his one and only Son for it (John 3:16). This conference is so big that one can feel very small. Usually, at typical C-conferences, you have camp counselors running up to you, begging to pray for you and tell you about how much J.C. loves you. However, at this conference, you honestly need to seek out what you are looking for (and yes, they do have those "counselors" there too. :) You just have to find them.) What you can find is so vast, and some of those things includes but are not limited to: m-workers that are willing to pay for your lunch and have a conversation with you, SEVERAL m-workers and other exhibitors from various agencies and/or places in the world, students from all over north america and the world, different schools/seminaries, prayer and worships rooms that include artistic worship to ethnic prayer rooms, prayer counselors, exploration of downtown st. louis, one of my heroes: John M. Perkins, Shane Claiborne, some AMAZING speakers, worship in different languages, creative arts performances, and so so much more................
As you can tell, there's so much that it can be a bit overwhelming. But honestly, up until this point, this overwhelm-ness seems to be a blessing instead of a curse. A lot of times in our lives, we freak out because we are overwhelmed with SO MUCH stuff. School. Family. Job. Money. Loneliness. Etc. Etc. !!! This list goes on and I can pul my head out... lol. BUT throw Urbana and the world on top of that, AND two months in different countries---I was going a widdo cwazy. But now that I think about it... I see that all this is a blessing. I am thankful that the H.S. is challenging me in this way because what was this journey on earth supposed to be???? Convenient? Simplistic? Easy? A breeze? SIGH, inconveniently: no.
I'm assuming that the call to balance a life of loving a personal Lord, doing justice, living Holy, and making disciples of all nations aint really supposed to be easy. No wonder He tells us to seek the Kingdom first... but here we all are (none of you of course as J.P. would say :P) FREAKING out about why we aren't happy, why we have so many worries, why my life doesn't look like that pretty girl in the latest hit movie (Bella Swan I suppose, falling in love with a random vampire.... of course, vamps don't exist--and if we truly wanted to be like her, the closest we could get and the start of a great learning experience would be to date outside our own ethnicities---but that's your call to do the Lord's will with that area, lol), or why I am so darn lonely in this world.... etc etc.
But when I hear his sweet and humble Spirit telling me to "come...and...see" (John 1:39) I can't help but let go of what this world is telling me to believe. I can't help but drink from this living water, and fall in love with the J.C. I first met in 2004. The loving Savior that came and dwelled among us, in this world. A Savior that still dwells among us today. A Savior that is alive and not dead, a God that can hear us and longs to be reconciled and reunited with us. By being renewed and revived like this convicts me to obey the Lord and to follow Him with all my heart and to give Him my life... to change and be holy for him... I of course have to start little by little.... but slowly, I forget to hold onto living in my lustful thoughts, in my desires of feeling loved by others, in my yearnings for material things.... and instead, my heart is praying for these desires to change, my eyes are turning away from looking at things that destroy my soul, and my ears are starting to hear that what I listened to or thought before were lies that I believed....
God is at work in me... and that is because I am beginning to apply what I learned from Urbana: application.... and what is this application? It is obedience. And what is this obedience? Choosing to obey him in the little things. Choosing to share who he is to others. Choosing to live a holy life. And most of all...choosing to let Him be my strength and path and counselor all the way through.
At this conference, I was challenged to truly put what I saw/learned into practice... (btw that's what I learned from my internship too, ironically), but I am going to have to engage in my "Samaria"--the place that I probably do not want to walk through, but I am going to have to anyway. I'm going to start a book club this semester. I'm going to also start some book studies with my friends as well. I'm going to invest in the lives of people that are not non-C. I'm going to visit my cousins and my aunt that just lost their father/husband. I'm going to take care of my grandma. I'm going to stay involved with my church. I'm going to possibly find a job. I'm going to possibly start another book club after the first book is finished. I'm going to help my dad at his office more. I'm going to be home more often to be with my younger brother. I'm going to cook more for my parents. I'm going to read a few more books about living justly. But most of all, I'm going to invest in my relationship with Allah. Because if I don't, all of this is going to go down and mean absolutely nothing......... at all.
You may wonder: how in the world am I going to do this???? WHO KNOWS. But I am going to trust in God. And you know what? I am going to get A's this semester. I don't care who says I won't!!! I'm going to shoot for them. Why??? Because the Lord and I deserve them. That's all I got to say.
I don't want to be a content Christian. I want to be a busy one. I want to be a worker of the harvest. I don't want to stand on the side and roast in the sun as the harvest continues to grow.... I count all these overwhelming things I learned and all these overwhelming applications that I am going to do a BLESSING. It's not an easy road. But by the Lord's grace, and Lord willing in general, I will be able to do these things in HIS strength. I hope that fruit may come from this.
Pray for me my brothers and sisters!!! And if you did not learn anything about what I learned at Urbana, take a look at one of the speakers that I enjoyed and was most challeneged by. Alec Hill, president of Intervarsity. It's worth listening to. To my brothers and sisters in J.C.: I love you and I hope that the H.S. is pushing you to fulfill your calling. He LOVES you and will give you strength to endure it to the end!!! To my nonbelieving friends, I can only hope that you see something different in me and that you will believe that this is a reflection of God's love for YOU. To my friends and/or to people that randomly landed on this page--people that are hurting, unsure, of whether to follow or continue to follow J.C., do not give up his whisper and calling and longing to be with you, to forgive you, and to guide you in this life. He loves you, and he is near you. He dwelled among us, he met us where we are at, and today is the day that He wants to meet you and be the Savior of your life. I love you and hope that you will pray that the H.S. will show you and let you "see" who J.C. is all about. Don't be afraid. Have faith. He will take care of all your needs.
Missions on Your Campus: Alec Hill from Urbana 09 on Vimeo.
p.s. I did unpack from Asia, finally. :) But my room is a pigsty. No joke. I want to give away some of my clothes. Any suggestions? If I sell it away, I would like to give it to my church or one of the places I saw overseas. Tata and BE BLESSED!
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