Wow.
It has been a very crazy 2 months. Talk about roller coaster rides. I feel like it's been an intense 6 months or something, lol.
But I just wanted to share this random insight that was illuminated to me. I learned that man, of all this time I don't think I will ever get that big "break" that I want. You know, where you have a whole year to just process life and everything. Sometimes, things just dont work out like that (unless I'm Warren Buffet and have lots of money. But honestly, maybe it doesnt even work like that either. Buffet has to work for his hard earned money too right?).
Anyway, I feel like nothing comes easy. Nothing is free. I have been privileged to live with my parents and have their provision for all these years, ignorantly recieving things that I never needed to work for because my parents can afford it.
Since nothing is free, I feel like I will always be working. I dont think that I will ever get that free year off of just processing everything. I suppose the processing is NOW. We are all recommended to read right? Yes. But it's not like we dont read for four years and then take a year off and read for that whole free year. We break down our time and read from time to time. Read 10 minutes a day and thats 10 books a year, according to Greg Jao, MC for Urbana.
Anyway. Yes, Maybe I am supposed to be having my break now. In this moment. Retreating everyday and learning to breathe. Not trying to save all my hopes and dreams into something else and hoping that this saved and sacred resting year will some how save me... will some how cause me to be sane. To stop thinking and "rest." No, I will never rest. I must work. Are the children in Haiti resting? No, they are recovering from the devestation that happened in their nation. Are the children suffering with the education gap resting? No, they are stuck with the status quo because their teachers and communities wont fully commit to them!
I can't rest. I need to work. I need to gain experience. Sigh. It's time to take my break. And then get back to work. Process and take breaks as I go for the rest of my life.
