Is the church really a family?

At the end of the day, I find that I'm really only there for my family, not my church family. I'm never around my parents as often as they'd like, but I know that when I have a car accident, they will be there. When I am graduating, they will be there. When I have a dessert banquet, my siblings will be there to support me. Whenever my parents or siblings are going through something like that, I know that I will always be there, and that I will always come to their defense.

Unfortunately, I havent really made those type of expectations for my own local church. My brothers and sisters in Christ. My spiritual family. My eternal, everlasting, real family. Since I havent made those expectations for them, maybe that's why when I needed my church family the most, they were not there for me. You reap what you sow, you know?

For the past years, I've watched people come and go, and never have really seen myself, nor anyone else from the church, REALLY go out of their way to love those people that come and go (for various reasons: willingly, unwillingly, or other reasons--school, career, illness, etc). Sure, we might pray for them. But at the end of the day, we like to pick and choose the people we love. We will go out of our way to call the people we love and to love them through our actions. I even find myself doing that. AND THEN, unfortunately, I witness non-Christian friends/family members go and comfort those people that come and go. They don't find hope and edification from their spiritual family, but from their earthly family. [What a disgrace on us as a church. :'( ]

On the other hand, Christ seems to have been a little different. He chose to love the world, blemishes and all. Not just a particular group of people based on how well along they were, their similarities, etc--He didnt choose just to love the Jews. Instead, He chose to love Hmong people too. He chose to love the Karen, the Taidams. The Laotians, the Diego, the Somalis. Everyone. And yet, as His children, I feel like I have just been running in circles and have been a bad example: selfish, unwilling to do the little things before I do the big things, seeking to indulge in the current trends of this age, etc.

Sigh.

And at the end of the day, I find myself finding comfort in not the Church, but my two non-Christian friends and my own earthly family. I don't know why I'm not there for the Church nor why the church isnt their for one another when Christ called us to leave our mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters. Especially us Hmong folks, I know many of us cannot say no to our family. But we say no to our church family---the real, eternal family.

Why is that? Is the church really a family? Why don't we really open/be vulnerable with one another? Why can we not stick with a local church?

Please enlighten me. Thoughts, comments, questions, are suggested. Thanks.