I haven't unpacked yet

Seriously. I haven't.

Well, I have moved some things around here and there. But my turquoise suitcase is still sitting in the middle of my room, with clothes spilling out of it. Souvenirs lying everywhere around it, and of course, all of my mess from before I left for the internship.

I wish you could have all just heard my sigh of stress? Relief? No...it's that sigh of a child, when the mom says: "Okay darling, we really have to leave the playground now. We need to go." And when you hear her say "we need to go" it meant "we are leaving." And when you hear those words, you sigh this particular sigh that meant an end to all your adventure, exploring, etc. It's that type of sigh. The ringing gong that says, "wake up! get back to reality. no more living in this different time, in this place where you were free to start fresh and learn new things."

Around 4PM today, I printed out all my pictures and continue to dwell and look over on all the pictures from SE Asia. Although I valued and enjoyed each place that I went to, SEA is still with me. Maybe it's because that's the last place that I went to. Or maybe because, as I was pondering today, it was the only place where I got to live where the people lived, really ate the food that they made with their own hands, showered like how they showered, got to have deeper conversations with the staff, etc. As I thought over these things and looked over my pictures, I decided that I can't let the journey I had with them go in vain by just letting my suitcase sit there in my room and rot.... remember the blog I labeled as stewardship??? Maybe it's not really good stewardship to continue to live in a place mentally that I was not at physically....although I did enjoy my time in SEA so much, and I miss it so much too. I just know that I need to wake up and realize that I am in a new place, and that this place deserves just as much amount of attention as SEA. Because if I learned anything at all from SEA, it was that Allah is not partial to anyone, any people, etc... He loves all.

So, the sigh that I had, I guess that's the type of sigh of a child. Sort of (Because what really happened to me wasnt just a playground, it was really life. The only difference is that I have to choose the things I want to remember and to stick with from this learning ground that I encountered and take it with me and put it to practice wherever I go from now on...). So as of today, and it completely wrapped up to this night/morning of C-Day, I have finally accepted the fact that I need to unpack my suitcase and begin to move on. Begin to really refine what happened and what happened to me during the trip, being to really tell people what I need to tell them... being to finalize what pictures I want to use to tell people what I experienced and saw, etc. etc.

And I hope that whatever I communicate with the ears that are listening, I hope that they will also be able to take any of the little things I've told them to heart and maybe perhaps practice it too. Today was also a great day of my hopes coming true: before our "C-Day eve meal" (lol cuz my family has NEVER had one of those till tonight sorta), we were all going to pray and my parents both put their hands out as to how SEAsians would (hands laying with palms facing up, as if to receive a blessing). They made sure to keep their eyes open, and what was most rewarding and beautiful was that they even remembered to bring their palms to their faces/nose, to accept the blessing they receieved (and it was so special because IRONICALLY I had forgotten to accept the blessing, lol....).

Anyway, that little gesture meant so much to me. It shows me that the people I met and the places I saw were really real. it just wasnt child's play. These were real people with genuine values, concerns, beliefs, etc. And somehow, I was able to show a little small portion of their life to my family members... I wonder if I was able to communicate a little bit at all of what Isa Al Masih's (J.C.) lifestyle may have been like to them.