Back "home"

Hey all, I'm finally back home again. Home. What an interesting name. Although this is home, for some reason my heart is still in Asia.

I have so much to say. I wish I could have documented everything onto a USB flashdrive and just stick it in your brain, and have you all watch what I experienced. :) But of course life isn't that easy right?

Anyway, I won't spill all the goodies here in this blog, cuz there is so much to say, therefore there's also a lot of organizing to do. I just wanted to let you all know that I officially arrived back in the states on December 14 @ 10:30 am in Minneapolis (which was yesterday morning). I slept all day, then woke up at 9. Went back to sleep at 12 am, woke up at 4 am, went back to sleep at 10 am, then woke up at 4 pm. Lol. Right now it's 1:30 am. I'll be heading to sleep soon.

But anyway, I just want to thank all of you that have been following my updates and the blog. It means so much to me to know that many of you care enough to read this stuff. It's actually very touching. I apologize for the lack of updates for the past 2-3 weeks. In Southeast Asia, my team and I were at islands without internet connection. And if there was a connection, it was very low. So, no worries, the full updates should be coming a long for these next couple of weeks.

Anyhoo, for these past couple of days, many people have already been asking me how the trip was and I just have the hardest time trying to tell them. I planned on certain things to tell people in one sentence, but that sentence changes with different people. So it's hard. Therefore, before I completely update you all with what happened and what I did in Asia, I'll just let yall know what's on my heart and mind right now. Which is a lot.

Anyway, as of now, I suppose I go in and out of being sad. It's like I'm mourning what I saw and experienced. Today, I looked at the sand that I brought back home from an island that I stayed at... doing that brought a lot of emotions out. Every time I left a country, I would mourn for that place for about two weeks. Right now, I'm still mourning for the last country I went to. I'm just thinking about all the language that I learned (which was very little), the food, the ocean, and the wonderful friends I made. Especially the friends. And its difficult to try and think about whether I will ever see them again.

Not to mention, I miss my team. I never realized how difficult it was to be without them. I also never knew how difficult it was to explain my stories to someone other than my teammates. Whenever I explained something that I experienced to a teammate, even if they werent with me, I knew that they would somehow understand or listen. But being back in the States now, it's just different. People listen, but I'm not sure if they really are. It's not a good or bad thing. It just makes me miss and cherish all the friends I made and all the moments we shared together....

I also miss speaking the language that I learned from the last country that I went to. I know I only learned a little. But at random times, I want to just use my right hand (a cultural mannerism that I adapted), or say good morning in that language, or even thank you and etc. It's so disappointing to me to not be able to do that anymore. I know I'll work through these emotions and come to a stage where I am okay with that. It's just that I don't want to forget anything that I learned.

Anyway. Sorry for making this such a sad-sounding post! But dont worry... the future is looking brighter. Tonight I was able to share some stories and customs of the last country that I went to, and doing that brought me so much joy and contentment. I already feel better about what I shared with others. I suppose that the key to all of this is to share this new life that I have with others, especially with the ones that care about me. For a majority of today and yesterday, I just wanted to lay in bed and mope around because I was incredibly sad about leaving those countries and the beautiful people I met. It's still hard, but what I will try to do now is be a good steward and tell my story to everyone...

Anyway, sorry for the long blog!!! I was trying to keep it short. But please keep me in your prayers as well. This weekend is my uncle's funeral. And I have no idea how that will look. Hmong funerals are usually longer than 3 days, but in the states, because of everyone's busy schedules and because of the weekends being the only time open for others, Hmong American funerals are only 3 days. So this weekend will be just remembrance and a celebration of my uncle... pray for me and my family you guys. Thanks

I love you all. And to any of the friends that I met in Asia, I love you, miss you, and I am thinking of you.

-Danielle

P.S. My hopes are also lifted up because On December 26, I will be going to St. Louis with Ruth, Noelle, Nora, and Mikalia. Us ladies will be going to the Urbana 2009 Conference. It's an M Conference and will definitely mobilize us once more and connect us with several people. :) I'm SUPER excited about this conference, and I might possibly find a career-based job here. We'll see! :)